WELCOME TO GLENN’S WORLD:

re-posted from: 1-5-2013

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations.
There is more logic in humor than in anything else.
Because, you see, humor is truth. .. Victor Borge

Great Truths Of Growing Up

Success IS:

courtesy of Kelly & Gary

Growing Old Is A Beach:

courtesy of Carl & Terry

originally posted: 7-24-2009

Housecleaning 101:

Great Truths (reposted from 6-9-14)

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

 

Have a wonderful day with many ! *smiles*

 

Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short.
 
Dance naked. woo-hoo!

reposted from 7-2-09

Happy April Fools’ Day: (But check your calendar first, this could be a trick.)

Origins.
An 1857 ticket to "Washing the Lions" at the Tower of London in London. No such event ever took place.

The custom of setting aside a day for the playing of harmless pranks upon one's neighbor is recognized everywhere. Some precursors of April Fools' Day include the Roman festival of Hilaria, the Holi festival of India, and the Medieval Feast of Fools.

In Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (1392), the "Nun's Priest's Tale" is set Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two. Modern scholars believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote, Syn March was gon. Thus the passage originally meant 32 days after March, i.e. 2 May, the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, which took place in 1381. Readers apparently misunderstood this line to mean "32 March", i.e. 1 April. In Chaucer's tale, the vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox.

In 1508, French poet Eloy d'Amerval referred to a poisson d’avril (April fool, literally "April fish"), a possible reference to the holiday. In 1539, Flemish poet Eduard de Dene wrote of a nobleman who sent his servants on foolish errands on 1 April. In 1686, John Aubrey referred to the holiday as "Fooles holy day", the first British reference. On 1 April 1698, several people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to "see the Lions washed".

In the Middle Ages, New Year's Day was celebrated on 25 March in most European towns. In some areas of France, New Year's was a week-long holiday ending on 1 April. Some writers suggest that April Fools' originated because those who celebrated on 1 January made fun of those who celebrated on other dates. The use of 1 January as New Year's Day was common in France by the mid-16th century, and this date was adopted officially in 1564 by the Edict of Roussillon.

source: Wikipedia

Man Flies By Own Lung Power (April Fool's Day - 1934)  Among the papers that printed this photo as an authentic piece of news were the New York Daily News (which, at that time, had the largest circulation in the U.S.), the New York American, the Daily Mirror, and the Chicago Herald & Examiner,   See other April Fools Day Hoaxes

D’oh!

Management Lesson Learned

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Management Lesson Learned: Share critical information.

courtesy of Felecia W-T

Now That’s A Sense Of Humor:

reposted from 1031-2010

Will Rogers

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has  known. **
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman . .. Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7.  The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

**The credit to Will Rogers is unconfirmed.

For Sale:???

courtesy of Kelly

Keep Yo’ Hands Off My Doritos:

  from 2-9-2010

Things that make you go hmmmm...

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
2. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....
3. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
4. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
5. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
6. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else
to say".
7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
9. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
10. Was learning cursive really necessary?
11. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
12. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
13. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
14. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
15. Bad decisions make good stories
16. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.
17. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
18. Why do people like garden gnomes? I mean come on, a statue of a
creepy little person, you guys are sick!

courtesy of Kelly

One out of four people in this country is unbalanced…

courtesy of Kelly L-M

Don’t Send A Man To The Grocery Store:

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy
When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

Friendship’s Differences

Friendship among Women:

• A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:

• A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Male or Female?   

• FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
• PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
• TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
• HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
• SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
• WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
• TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
• EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
• HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
• THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

 

…and then the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started...... 

Had To Share: Goooood! Morninnnnnnnng! Everyone!

reposted from 2-20-2012

courtesy of K. Baker

SMILE

                                                                   

                                                                        

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

-click the arrow to start/restart the video-

re-posted from 11-23-2012